Fitness is the Base of My Game

Fitness is the Base of My Game

Jul 22, 2013

Every Halloween in Tokyo for the past three years, I’ve dressed up as a lifeguard complete with super short shorts, aviator sunglasses, no shirt, and my nose painted white. You may call me unimaginative, but I’m a cheap bastard from a warm climate and I’ll take every chance I can get to bask in attention while I stroll around in public with as little clothing as socially acceptable. Since most dudes don’t have the nuts to stroll around a party semi-nude, the costume has been a hit wherever I went, year after year. The first two years I donned my trusty lifeguard costume, back when I had the body of an asexual Asian teenager, I received about the same amount of attention from gay dudes as I did from women. The only thing was it was obvious that only the gay dudes wanted to bang my little Asian bottom. I quickly realized that most of the chicks just wanted to take a picture of the funny looking dude in the red shorts so they could post it on Facebook when they ran away before I could ask, “S-s-so what’s your name?” Back in those days of no-game hell, when I thanked my lucky stars when a girl let me park my beef bus in her tuna garage, I figured putting up with the odd sexual advance from a man was better than being completely invisible to women. Also, it gets really hot and uncomfortable when you’re dancing to electro club jams in a polyester Pikachu suit. Last Halloween was different. I had been practicing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu heavily for about two years, and an interest in improving my performance caused me to optimize my diet. I had also recently begun barbell training to improve my explosive strength. I arrived at that year’s costume party with broad grappler’s shoulders and a narrow waist. Even though I weighed a mere 132 lbs at the time, the difference in reaction was stark. I felt hands running across my shoulders after I posed with slutty nurses for a picture. Apropos of nothing, a tart in cat ears and a mini-skirt pressed her body against mine and said, “Meow!” One...